Me - without the shit

Me - without the shit
“I know I’m not skinny”,
I scream in a usual rage.
Just longing for love,
Comfort, kisses...from food.

Knowing I should go for a jog,
Unable to move from the sofa.
Skinning up another spliff,
I forget what I was thinking about.

Feeling overwhelming unattractive
as your gaze sets on me.
Wishing I was a size ten –
so I could ravage you.

Not understanding –
the obsession with women’s size.
“He’s probably worried about what people will think”
What, because I’m a heffa?

Society deems an impossible image –
for some people,
like me – it’s impossible.
I’d have to run ten miles a day.

Needing motivation to do something –
Go for a jog; eat a ryvita.
I long for love to inspire me –
“Why am I so unattractive?”

Like a small animal –
I hibernate in this house,
Smoking, eating,
waiting for an excuse not to.

“Do you wanna skin up another spliff?”