This is a piece of lifewriting I wrote when I was still with Rob, I have found it recently after splitting up and thought I should share it as its probably one of the most intense, passionate pieces I have ever written.
When will it be?
Is love when he makes your body shudder in time with his? Is love when you care for all that he does? Is love when you worry when your last day or being with him will be? I worry of that all of the time. When will my last morning of waking up next to you be? When will our last kiss be? Please tell me so I can savour your taste on my lips for as long as possible.
When will I feel you inside me as one for the last time? Please tell me so I can prolong my shuddering orgasm just that little bit too long. I would make sure I touch every inch of your body with my tongue. I would make sure I could hold you next to my naked body for as long as possible. I would make sure we feel pleasured, satisfied and entwined. Your body is like a castle to me, every time I open another passage way or door it’s like a whole new room to explore.
Before you go can I trace your collarbone with my tongue? Can I squeeze your supple, little bottom just one more time? Can I put you in my mouth feeling every ripple of life erupting out of you and into me? When you leave can you give me no warning?
If I had just 12 more hours with you I would lock you in a room, take my clothes off and hold you. I would beg you to stay, cry until I could produce no more tears. Would you really leave me? Could I cope with life without you? Could I really do it? Could I risk never kissing your lips again? I could not imagine not having my own little sanctuary in your arms.
Would you miss me? I don’t think I could physically watch you slip away from me. I couldn’t share my naked body with someone else. You have explored me from the crown of my head to the tip of my toes. I have dreamt of our wedding, our honeymoon, our babies, our houses, our cars. How could I dream that all up with someone else now? I couldn’t. Simple as that.